


It All Fell Apart, Until One Day The Shards Became Whole Again

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Pacific Rim (2013), Sons of Anarchy
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Identities, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Chuck Lives, Crossover Pairings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Existential Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Father-Son Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gangs, Major Character Injury, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Possibly Unrequited Love, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jax Teller's life imploded and he was forced to become Raleigh Becket. He didn't mind having a new life and a new name, especially after Yancy had to put him together again. Raleigh thinks it's the last time. Too bad he was never good at predicting the outcomes as he always thought he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It All Fell Apart, Until One Day The Shards Became Whole Again

**Author's Note:**

> A crossover that somehow ended up being written after long conversations about SOA. It's not strictly an SOA story, but one where Jax has to become Raleigh to survive, so the character is a bit rougher and tetchier than before. I just wrote it to get it out of my system as I wondered how Jax Teller would be if he transformed into Raleigh Becket and liked taking walks up and down the Kinsey Scale.
> 
> Proofed and edited, but if mistakes appear, my apologies.

_One_

Jax’s breathing was ragged and he knew that if he didn’t move, he was going to die there. Although his old club hadn’t killed him, they had beaten him thoroughly enough so that if he didn’t come by anyone, he would be as good as dead. He knew that the mercy of not being shot in the head was simply a slower death sentence. Jax realized that as he fought to breathe. He could feel bubbling as he breathed and knew that a rib had at the least punctured his lung. At the worst, had torn it and he was going to drown in his own blood. His legs were in pieces as was his left arm. Blood had crusted onto his face and if the swelling hadn’t already done it, the blood had taken care of sealing his eyes shut.

He was as helpless as newborn kitten and he was going to die. The legacy of the Tellers would end up dead on a lonely northern California highway. He would have laughed, but he couldn’t dredge up any energy to do so. So he lay there and waited for the death etched on his skin to appear.

He wasn’t naïve enough to think that death wasn’t going to come to him. Help wasn’t arriving.

It was silent and he was drifting off in a haze of pain and shock.

That was the reason he realized later, that he didn’t hear the car or the footsteps.

He only came to when a cool hand covered his swollen hot forehead and murmured that he would be okay. That no one was going to ever hurt him again and that he didn’t need to be afraid.

His only answer was to choke up blood and then there was nothing.

~*~*~*~

When he was able to open his eyes again, he found himself lying on an old, but comfortable bed. He looked around and saw that the room was bare and starkly decorated. Whoever owned it was either not around enough to give it personality, or didn’t use it all that much. The air was different, cold and crisp with the hint of an icy ocean and marine life. Even in California he hadn’t smelt the Pacific so strongly.

At the thought, he fought to sit up. He only made it several inches off the bed before the pain of the still healing ribs got to him. He gasped and panted at the agony and forced himself to take deep breaths to slow his heart rate down.  It wouldn’t do to pass out again and not get any answers.

Answers that appeared to be coming in the form of the dirty blonde man that had come into the room holding a tray with a bowl of steaming soup and some fresh bread. The scent of the soup made Jax’s stomach growl loudly, reminding him he hadn’t eaten in lord knew how long. He wasn’t embarrassed and the man smiled at him, putting the tray down on a small nightstand before sitting on the chair that Jax assumed had been the man’s usual spot. It looked like that was the case when he leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he studied Jax.

“Take a picture if you need reference.” Jax finally rasped out, making the man snicker.

“Hard to believe that you’re Jax Teller, despite the way that we found you. I’m Yancy Becket, by the way. My family and I rescued you when we we’re heading back to Juneau. Had to stop to get you patched up, but that didn’t take that long. So here we are in Juneau. Oh and by the way, Jax Teller is officially dead. We’re working on a new name for you.”

Jax blinked, his mouth working at the news that the Yancy fellow had just dropped on him all casual like, as if it was a thing that he and his family did on a daily basis.

“What do you want then? If you know who I am, then you-”

“We know. You still had on your jacket. The tats are also a dead giveaway and the stories afterwards gave it all. We don’t want anything except to help out. If you’re that concerned about earning your keep, when you get back on your feet, you can help out on our fishing boat.” Yancy cut in.

Jax stroked his face, stopping abruptly when he only felt smooth skin. He ran his fingers through his hair and was surprised to find that it was shorn almost to his scalp. He hadn’t had it that short since he had been thrown in prison and he cast a baleful look at Yancy, who shrugged.

“We needed to smuggle you out of the state without arousing suspicion. It’ll all grow back if you want. No one’s going to think of looking up Jax Teller on a fishing boat in Juneau.”

Jax could see the logic, but it still didn’t ease his irritation at looking like he was twelve again. There had been a reason he had kept the beard and hair for so damned long even when he didn’t have to. There was no way that he could be intimidating looking prepubescent.

“So why do it? Why help Jax Teller?

Yancy shrugged and instead looked pointedly at the bowl of soup that wasn’t steaming any longer, but still smelled tantalizing enough.  And even though he knew that Yancy was pointedly ignoring his question, he had to admit he was fucking hungry.

“We all have secrets and debts to keep and there are some that still remember what your dad stood for. Eat.”

Jax opened his mouth to press the issue further, but Yancy only got up and walked out the door, leaving Jax with the food and the sinking feeling he wasn’t ever going to get answers to his questions.

He reached over and carefully put the tray on his lap and shakily dipped the spoon in the broth and brought it to his lips.

It was damned good soup.

_Two_

Jax’s life was shattered again several years after the Beckets found him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. He didn’t think that he was destined to just fade into obscurity on Juneau, working his ass off through the icy waters off the Aleutian Islands with Yancy at his side. He had gotten used to the long hours and hard work and being called “Raleigh” and keeping his hair short and his face clean.

He didn’t have to worry about the ink, since it was too damned cold always to be wearing anything less than thick woolen sweaters. His life was mapped out and he was okay with it.

But the Kaiju destroyed San Francisco and the blue created places like Oblivion Bay and it was another game changer again.

He couldn’t sit and watch it happen. He was never one to sit it out and wait for it to clear itself up without his interference. Not when he had something to protect. That something had become the Beckets, Yancy himself in particular.

So when the PPDC was established and the Jaegers started production and the enlistment offices popped up like mushrooms, Jax knew what he had to do.

“You’re serious.” Yancy stated, rather than asked once Ja-Raleigh broached the idea of them enlisting as Rangers. If he was going to entertain that idea for one second, he was going to have to be careful and call him Raleigh, rather than Jax. They had worked damned hard to create the fiction of his cousin Raleigh to have it just be wasted on a slip of the tongue or a careless touch.

“You know I can fight. I know you can back me up. We can do it. Besides, it’s better than sitting here and waiting to be poisoned by that blue shit if they get close to here.”

The corner of Yancy’s mouth twitched and Raleigh knew that he had won.

“Fine. Fine. At least wait until we get the last run of the season.”

Raleigh smiled and moved closer to Yancy, putting his arm around his waist and pulling him into a half-hug before pressing a kiss on his neck. Yancy snorted, but didn’t move away.

“Let’s go to bed.”

Yancy nodded and kissed Raleigh’s cheek.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

~*~*~*~

It was easy. So easy to get into the Rangers and it must have been fate that smiled on them when they ended up being drift compatible and assigned to Gypsy Danger.

“Quit smirking or your face is going to stay that way.” Yancy had finally snapped, throwing a towel in his face as they came down from the latest training session. Although Raleigh was the scrapper, Yancy was a natural pilot. Raleigh would have begrudged him in another situation, but they worked so damned well together that it didn’t matter. All they had to do was pilot Gypsy and kill kaiju. If he wasn’t positive he was awake, he would have pinched himself. It was literally the perfect job.

“Only you would be bitchy after getting picked to pilot the best Jaeger out there.” Raleigh replied, throwing the towel back. Yancy only caught it and threw it in the hamper, but didn’t rise up to the bait.

“Hey…You good, Yance?” Raleigh asked, feeling awkward about actually asking Yancy about his feelings. He gave a fuck, but verbalizing that wasn’t exactly his forte. Never had been. But he was making the effort with Yancy. He wasn’t stupid. He did occasionally learn from his mistakes after all.

He cautiously moved forward and gingerly sat down beside him on the bottom bunk where Yancy had retreated since they got assigned their quarters.

Yancy gave that exasperated huff of a laugh he always did when he was far from that and shook his head before leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He chewed on his thumbnails for a bit before he turned to look at Raleigh.

“I’ve never really killed before, Jax. The thought never crossed my mind that was what I was going to have to do. Stupid, isn’t it? We’re on the eve of a mission and I’m thinking that.”

Raleigh swallowed hard and wished he hadn’t quit smoking. He craved a Malby so bad he could almost taste it. This wasn’t a conversation that he had ever thought he would be having this late in the game.  He had known what he had to do from the beginning. He had set his path and he was going to follow it through, because there was no other choice.

But Yancy had always been a civilian and Raleigh knew that it was a heavy weight on his mind if he had gone back to using Jax when he asked the question. He had felt a slight hesitation in the drift, but hadn’t put too much mind in it, being too wary of being caught in the stream of memories.

“You don’t get used to it. But you made the choice and you go through it because worse shit is going to happen if you don’t make the call. That’s what worked for me, at least. “

Raleigh replied after a long silence. He put his arm around Yancy’s shoulders lightly after he had spoken, hoping that Yancy would take the comfort offered. Yancy sighed and leaned against Raleigh.

“I know. I saw that in the drift. How you dealt with stuff. How you felt about it…that wasn’t clear. So thanks. I guess I needed to hear it, even if I had been in your head.”

Raleigh winced and wanted to apologize for that. He knew damned well his head wasn’t the prettiest place to be stuck. He had done fucked up shit and knew that it would be a shock to anyone to see. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Yancy wouldn’t let him, kissing him hard and stopping the conversation as they fell backward onto the bed.

If Yancy ever has reservations, he doesn’t share them verbally or in the drift. He just focuses as Raleigh suggested and they get the job done.

They become the Beckets, the good old American boys that keep the Pacific Northwest free of Kaiju attacks.  They get interviewed and treated like celebrities and even though they shun it and are fiercely private, they still are out there.

Raleigh despises it due to the possibility of his club putting it together and the fact that Yancy and he have to be careful to keep their relationship off the radar. Yancy hates it due to his taciturn nature. But they both grin and bear it and find comfort in each other’s bodies once the job is done.

Raleigh figured that was how things would happen until they died or the war ended. He didn’t care which came for him as long as it took them both.

And then Knifehead happened.

_Three_

It was even worse than the first time. Worse because Yancy wasn’t there, but he could still feel him. A ghost in his head, a ghost on his skin that he couldn’t get rid of and didn’t particularly want to get rid of.  He didn’t think he could bear to have anyone else be that close to him, to get into his head and under his skin.  He had survived the loss of Tara, and Abel and Thomas.

He knew he wasn’t going to be able to survive the loss of Yancy Becket, so he didn’t even bother trying. He simply mourned and made his plans as he lay in a hospital bed yet again.

The loss of Yancy had broken him and he wasn’t able to find the pieces to put himself together again. It just wasn’t possible. The loss of Yancy had nearly left him comatose and it had been almost two weeks before he could actually string a sentence together. They had been patient, hoping that he would change his mind and be the pilot that they wanted and needed.

But he had turned his back on them and fled to the wall, their suggestions and medicines left behind as he hid in the brutal work that building the wall required. He knew it wouldn’t hold. He knew that they were looking for a quick fix and a way to stop the Jaeger program from hemorrhaging money and pilots. He knew all of that because he knew how their minds worked.

He was done though. Jax Teller was gone. So was Raleigh Becket, Gypsy Danger’s pilot.

He had no fucking clue who it was that was left behind in the scarred and tattooed shell of the man that climbed to the highest point of a metal wall and welded joints in sub-zero weather for rations.

He was numb, he was a number and he was fine with that. There was nothing else left for him. So he followed the construction, dodged questions and wished that he could get Malboros without having to pay outrageous black market prices. He didn’t really crave them, but the habit was still there.

It was only on bad mornings that he really needed them. It was always after tangled dreams of his life in California and Alaska attacked and his subconscious decided to torment him with them non-stop.  He would wake bathed in cold sweat and the ragged memories of either Tara or Yancy in his arms, their scent in his nose and the happiness and comfort that was never going to be his again like a dull stone in his heart. Those were the bad mornings.

It was telling that he could deal with the nightmares of Kaijus and death better than the memories of contentment and security. He didn’t dwell on it. Not when he needed to work to put food in his belly and keep his work gear from falling apart. He was the living dead and nothing mattered.

He had a good morning and the welding came easy and no one was talking to him. He had should have known that it was too good to be true. He didn’t have good days.

He had an inkling of it changing when the battered television they kept in the corner showed exactly how useless and pointless the wall was when a Kaiju broke through it. He didn’t hear the comments, not when he was too busy taking in the Jaeger that destroyed the Kaiju.

He knew it and he knew the pilots, having fought with them in the Philippines years back.  They hadn’t ever met, but he recalled them as if recalling long ago friends through a haze of memory: The Hansens. Family drift and in the same category that he and Yancy had been slotted into as part of the great ruse that they were playing for the PPDC and the world.

He knew it was going to happen for sure when there was a commotion in the yard and the workers parted to let a man through that he hadn’t seen in years and hadn’t thought he would see again.

“Mr. Becket.”

He cringed inwardly.

Stacker Pentecost had found him.

He was getting fucking tired of this shit.

~*~*~*~

Their eyes met as she handed him the umbrella and he could tell she wasn’t impressed with him. Hell _, he_ wasn’t impressed with him. He knew damned well what he looked like and a Jaeger pilot wasn’t it. But she still handed him the umbrella politely and bowed when Stacker introduced them.

He would have kept his mouth shut and looked as bland an inconspicuous as possible if it hadn’t been for Mako’s comments. He had to smirk at Mako and couldn’t help but to reply in her native tongue. He couldn’t ever resist a feisty woman who wasn’t afraid of putting him in his place.

There had been a reason why he had carried a torch for Tara for so damned long. Or why he didn’t mind when Yancy gave as good as he got.

He walked with them and wondered at the inappropriateness of his mind. He was pissed. He had been blissfully memory free for a long while and he couldn’t understand why Stacker and Mako had triggered that dormant switch.  He forced himself to be calm as he passed the scientists and the other pilots that Stacker had gathered for one last gamble.

He listened and watched and stored all the information for future reference, quizzing Mako on her scores and her ideas as she took him to his room, which was completely different than the one he had shared with Yancy, a small mercy in his mind. He took the stack of pictures and put some up after Mako had let him be, reminding him that dinner was to be served in an hour.

He hadn’t ever been one to pass up food. Tara and Yancy had always teased him about his appetite and he had borne it all in good nature. He couldn’t help it and he had to admit that was the worst thing of the past five years: The constant hunger for all things physical, tactile and emotional.

He had to stop and catch his breath when it hit him, how much he missed all that. It hadn’t hit him as hard as it had that exact moment and he had to stop and recollect himself.

He picked up the packaged toiletries and the new clothes he had been given and moved to the shower area, where he stripped quickly and got in. Although no one really knew his secret, he was always careful to never let his scarred ink be seen. That had been one of his old habits that couldn’t ever die. He wouldn’t ever let it.

Once he was cleaner than he had been in a long time and dressed in stiff, new clothes he headed to the cafeteria he had been shown in passing. He entered it and nodded to a couple of people before grabbing food and looking for a table.  He didn’t have to look for long. Herc Hansen, he dug the name out of his memory somehow, found him and dragged him to his table.

It was a wonder that he didn’t have in him to snarl or protest. Herc calmed him right the fuck down. Kind of like Yancy used to.

“Herc Hansen. This is my son Chuck.”

Chuck though, glared at him with green eyes that put him in mind too sharply of Tara and Gemma and other combative partners or family he had known.

The feeling was intensified when Chuck mangled his name; a thing that they both knew was a hidden challenge.

Jax hadn’t ever been one to back down from a challenge and besides, it wasn’t that he gave a fuck about how to pronounce the name. But Yancy had picked it out for him and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let the insult go so easily.

“It’s _Ra_ leigh, Chuck.”

Chuck’s eyes narrowed and Raleigh swore inwardly as he realized too late that everyone he had met had just pulled him back into the land of living, ripping his life apart again.

_Five_

He was so fucking tired of this, Raleigh decided when he found himself held tightly in Mako’s arms, his chest feeling almost as bad as he did when Yancy had first found him. But at least Yancy hadn’t been on the edge of hysteria like Mako was at that moment. He was afraid she would crush him if he didn’t say anything soon.

“Can’t breathe.”

Mako gasped and pulled away from him, her face lighting up when she saw he was awake and alive. He couldn’t help but to smile back at her joy. They let their foreheads touch and he wasn’t thinking of anything except that he was glad he was alive and the breach was closed.

“Uh, guys? Is there another escape pod there? We’re getting a signal.”

Raleigh and Mako both pulled away and began looking for the other pod, scanning the waves before Raleigh noticed the third escape pod that looked the worse for the wear. He dived into the water and swam frantically, his ears filled with the sound of his blood rushing into his ears as he swam towards the escape pod. He didn’t know who he was going to find in it, but he was determined to get them to safety, they had lost too many people already, for fuck’s sake. If he could save someone right now, he’d fucking do it.

He reached the pod and opened it, thankful that the hatch hadn’t gotten crumpled or stuck. It opened easily to reveal a banged up and slightly scorched Chuck Hansen. There was blood running from a wound by his hairline and one of his eyes was swollen purple and shut. But he was alive. Raleigh swore when he dragged a half-drowned Chuck into his own pod, displacing Mako, once it was obvious that the one the younger Australian had been in was going to break into pieces at any minute.  Chuck was half-conscious and there was a large bloody bump on the side of his forehead, his face was bone white and purple with bruising. But to Raleigh, it was a welcome sight after Striker had been detonated with the payload.

“What the fuck, Raleigh?” Chuck rasped, clearly concussed and completely confused at Raleigh’s relief shining clearly across his weary face.

“You’re alive, Hansen. You’re fucking alive.” Raleigh replied, making Chuck roll his uninjured eye and open his mouth to snap a retort when Mako shouted. They all looked up to see the ladder lowered and instructions being shouted at them.

Raleigh missed them though, because Chuck had chosen that time to say “So are you, Raleigh.” And given him a crooked smile, short-circuiting his brain right then and there.

~*~*~*~

The cheers were almost deafening when they entered the Shatterdome and Raleigh was sure that the ringing in his ears wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. He only smiled as he half-carried, half-walked Chuck inside. They had found, as soon as they landed on the hangar that his left leg was messed up and couldn’t even bear his weight without collapsing under him after two steps. Raleigh had grabbed him then and even though Chuck was trying to not be a dead weight and pushing himself; it was slow going.  But he wasn’t going to let the younger man go until it was absolutely necessary.

He was surprised to see Chuck wasn’t basking in the attention and instead looked at him and smiled wryly. The smile made his face softer and younger and Raleigh was sure that he could see the boy that Chuck had been before everything went to hell. He briefly wondered if Chuck could see past the mask of Raleigh Becket and Jax Teller as well. He leaned forward, getting their faces closer and Chuck’s eye went a bright green at the proximity. But not with anger. Far from it.

Raleigh’s heart sped up and his lips parted, the rest of the crews around him forgotten as Chuck got closer. They were only a few centimetres away from each other when he felt a hand clap him on the shoulder. Startled, he jerked away to find himself looking into Herc Hansen’s face briefly before he was pulled in a one armed hug.

“Not here, Becket. Get my boy to medical first.” He muttered into Raleigh’s ear, leaving him stunned. He was sure that if he hadn’t had the practice, he would have been gaping after Herc. The newly minted Marshall, Raleigh realized was now embracing his son tightly, both Hansen men coming as close to crying as they could with their ingrained stoicism.

He watched them before he decided he was intruding and tried to slink off and rescue Mako or find Tendo, a bottle of the hard stuff and a place to hide.

“Yer not going anywhere without us, Becket.” Herc growled at him. Raleigh’s heckles rose at that and he was about to snipe back when he caught Chuck’s hopeful, if somewhat smirking face. He got it then and felt like he had won the lottery. Two for the price of one. He could live with that.

“Lead the way, Hansen.” Raleigh replied, his own lips curving into a smirk before Herc snorted and led them away from the celebrating crowd and into medical, which had been their original destination.

They easily managed to get Chuck there between the two of them. It was a good thing, since Chuck’s stamina was finally collapsing and he was leaning more on them and both Raleigh and Herc found themselves carrying him rather than just supporting him as he limped forward. Raleigh had to admit that it was with no small sense of relief that he relinquished his burden to the medics at the medical station. As much as he wanted to press Chuck against the wall and fuck him into a quivering, sweaty mess before doing the same to his father, he knew that the kid needed to get checked out.

He looked at Herc, who was staring back at him. Neither of them were going to be the first to crack, he could see and respect that stoicism. But He was bruised, filthy and needed to get out of his flight suit and get some clothes, food, whiskey and smokes. Not necessarily in that order. He needed the space to just zone out and recover. As much as he wanted to taste the musk and sweat of both Hansens, he needed the quiet in between to absorb he was alive in so many ways than just one.

He finally decided that it was simply a tactical retreat and jerked his head towards the dome.

“I gotta get out of this suit. Stay with your son, Hansen.”

Herc looked at him through heavy lids and a ghost of a smile curled his mouth.

“Is this goodbye then, Becket?”

Raleigh shook his head, his own smile curling his mouth into an almost feral snarl.

“Far from it Hansen.”

Herc snorted, but only raised his hand. Raleigh took it and pulled the other man close.

“Far from it. Keep your schedule free for tomorrow.”

He whispered before letting him go and walking away without a backwards glance.

~*~*~*~*~

Mako found him in his room, a bottle of whiskey beside him and a Malby ferreted out from somewhere between his lips and a can of beer as a makeshift ashtray as he smoked and stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t thinking about much. Mainly about what to do next. He hadn’t planned on surviving. Hadn’t planned on anyone getting too damned close to him and under his skin again.

Had never planned on being yanked into being relatively human again by two damaged people like him. But he had. He scrubbed his face with his hand and sucked down more nicotine as he wondered how the hell he had been caught so unawares, and exhaled a blue cloud, nearly obscuring Mako when she entered the room and left the door slightly ajar.

“Close the door.” He growled at Mako, who ignored him and sat down beside him, careful to not jar both the bottle and the empty can.

“You need some air. Besides, everyone is too busy celebrating. No one’s around this area.”

She replied, waving her hand around to dispel the smoke, but not saying anything else about his smoking. She had been in his head. She knew why he was chain-smoking Malby Reds.

They sat in silence as he finished that smoke and reached over for another one, lighting it with the butt of the still lit one. He took a deep drag and stubbed the old one out, dropping it into the can.

The silence was finally broken by Mako, who he knew couldn’t take the silence between them for too damned longer.

“So why them?”

He started a bit and looked at her, sucking down another drag before he took it out of his mouth and looked at her. He ran his tongue over his lip, tasting the nicotine residue before he spoke.

“Fucked if I know. It just felt right when we looked at each other. I was me again, rather than a ghost.” He paused to take a drag and looked at her. She bit her lip, but didn’t look away. She knew what he meant, since she had seen it all: His life as Jax Teller, Tara, the boys, then Yancy and being Raleigh Becket. He couldn’t change who set that spark in him anymore than she could.

“It was a start, with you. They just…finished it.”

Mako nodded thoughtfully and looked down at the bed.

“I get it.”

She nodded again and remained there until they both fell asleep sitting up leaning against each other.

~*~*~*~*

It was near noon when he was woken up by insistent banging on his door, making him jerk awake into the nastiest hangover headache of his life. His mouth tasted like ash and stale alcohol and the room reeked of cigarettes. Groaning, he got up of the bed, not surprised to see he was alone and blindly staggered over to the door.

“Yeah?” He rasped out, squinting up at whoever it was standing out there.

“Bloody fuck, Becket! Rough night?” Herc Hansen drawled out, wrinkling his nose at the stench that wafted out from the room. Raleigh growled at that and rubbed his face hard.

“What time is it?”

“A little after eleven. You might want to get cleaned up if anything’s to happen.”

Raleigh smirked at him before leaving the door open.

“Give me ten. You can wait inside or outside. Up to you.” Raleigh told him before turning around and going to the shower, stripping clothes off and dumping them by the hamper. He was too hungover and disgusted in his own skin to actually care about whether Herc was going to see him naked. It wasn’t as if it wasn’t going to happen soon anyway.

He would have liked to stand in the shower for longer, but he had promised and scrubbed himself as clean as possible in the space of the ten minutes and jumped out with only a towel wrapped around his waist to have Herc Hansen only raise an eyebrow at the ink on him.

“Impressive.” Was all he said as he waited for Raleigh to get dressed, making Raleigh feel slightly deflated at having his secret be received with such calm after keeping it hidden for so long after meeting Yancy.

They didn’t say anything else as they walked out of his room and towards the Hansen’s own quarters. He stepped inside after Herc opened it and felt a pang of nostalgia at seeing the layout. It looked just like his and Yancy’s quarters. Except that this room had a snoozing bulldog in the corner and old magazines with Gypsy Danger tossed onto the top bunk.

He laughed softly as he picked it up and flipped through the pages before tossing it back on the bed that he assumed was Chuck’s. That explained some of the animosity at least.

He didn’t have time to think about it more because he was then pulled into a rough embrace, followed by a passionate, almost painful kiss. Herc Hansen tasted like musk and tea and cream and his brain stopped working as he was pushed down onto the lower bunk. Herc was on top of him, his weight being supported by his good arm. At least until Raleigh started touching him.

  He ran his hands down the wiry torso of Herc and slipped his hands under the drab green t-shirt he was wearing, gently dragging his nails down the bare flesh to make Herc gasp at the sensation before going down even further and into his trousers. He lightly scratched at the hipbone before going into the wiry nest of pubic hair and just barely touching the hardening flesh of Herc’s cock.

The kiss was still going until Herc broke it off, panting as he raised his hips in a clear invitation for Raleigh to unbuckle his belt and go further. He complied with the request, stripping the trousers from Herc and palming his cock a bit awkwardly. He hadn’t touched another man’s cock in years and he knew he was being a bit rough when Herc hissed and frowned slightly at the pain.

“Sorry. Hang on.” Raleigh apologized, licking his palm and letting out a gasp of lust and pain as Herc ground his bare arse into Raleigh’s cock.

“You wanna play dirty, old man?” Raleigh growled, making Herc laugh harshly.

“As if you can?” Herc replied, his voice a gravelly purr that made desire shoot into his cock like a rocket and get him hard in what felt like seconds.

“More like if you can take it, Hansen.” Raleigh shot back as he pulled down his own track bottoms, shoving them off the bed and grabbing Herc’c cock into a punishing grip.

“Ah yeah? I can take anything you dish out, Becket.” Herc growled, reaching over to the small nightstand and dropping a small tube of lotion on Raleigh’s chest.

Raleigh grinned at that and let go of Herc’s cock. He popped the cap and looked at Herc, who nodded jerkily, impatiently.

He didn’t need another hint. Moving fast, he put a generous amount on his fingers and pushed Herc to lean his weight on him, careful of the older man’s injured arm.

“You sure? It’d be easier with you on your back.”

Herc shook his head. ‘Want to ride you. Want to see your face as you fuck me.”

Raleigh shrugged and got Herc to straddle him before he circled the tight ring of muscle, coaxing it to loosen with the pad of his finger and allow him to slip his finger inside. Herc gasped when Raleigh’s finger slid in, circling inside to touch all of Herc, who breathed hard, but didn’t clench up as Raleigh moved his finger. Encouraged, Raleigh slid his finger out and slipped in a second one, curling and crooking them until he could touch the hard knot of nerves that made Herc cry out and push his ass against Raleigh’s fingers to fuck himself onto them.

“Easy. Easy. We aren’t even there yet.” Raleigh murmured, rubbing Herc’s thighs with a reassuring hand as he moved his hand in an easy rhythm, scissoring his fingers once in a while until he was able to slip in three fingers and speed up. Herc was almost incoherent as he fucked himself on Raleigh’s fingers, each keen going straight to Raleigh’s cock, making him harder than he remembered being in ages. He had to fuck him. Had to do it before he exploded.

He pulled out his hand and ignored the squelching noise and grabbed more lotion. He was careful as he slicked Herc up and grimaced slightly at the extra lotion on his hand as he grabbed Herc’s hips, lifted him up and then down on his cock. He went as slow as he could, with Herc’s hands clenching on his shoulder as he resisted the urge to slam into that wetness. Herc’s head bowed and rivulets of sweat were running down his forehead, his injured arm held tight against his chest and his other hand clenched tightly as Raleigh finally got himself seated inside him and Raleigh couldn’t help but to sigh and close his eyes to slow his heart down. There was no fucking way he was going to finish that fast.

“Move.”

It was a simple command, but it got Herc lifting his hips up and down into a sloppy rhythm that Raleigh supplemented by bucking up whenever Herc went down, impaling himself on Raleigh’s cock. With each stroke, it bounced off of his prostrate and soon, he was simply holding onto Raleigh as Raleigh took over, fucking him into an incoherent mess. Their bodies were soon slick with sweat as they fucked against and with each other.

“Touch me, fuck sake’s!”

Raleigh followed the request and wrapped his still slick hand around Herc’s purple cock, gripping it tight as he jerked it hard, his only concern to get Herc coming fast. He was on the verge and he wasn’t going to be a selfish asshole and come before Herc. He knew he was lacking finessed, but that didn’t matter when Herc shouted and he came all over his chest in thick spurts.

The sight of Herc coming was the extra nudge that he needed to get there himself. He thrust into a pliant Herc for a few minutes more before his vision whited out too and he was blowing his own load. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying out at the force of it.

When his vision cleared up again, he found himself looking at a tired, yet smug Herc.

“Good?” he rasped out, stroking Herc’s bare flank as the older man smirked.

“You daft cunt. As if you had to ask.”

~*~*~*~*

Chuck was in his room when he got back, his hair still wet after his second shower. Raleigh blinked at the sight, but closed the door and stood in front of the bed lest Chuck decide he wanted to take a swing at him for fucking Herc. But all that Chuck did was look at him and stand up.

 “C’mere. Wanna fuck the scent of him off of you.” He muttered, his eyes a deep and dark green that made Raleigh shiver. He didn’t resist when Chuck pulled him close buried his nose in the juncture of his shoulder and neck and kissed him. A soft, barely there press of his lips that he would have missed if Chuck hadn’t also licked the spot. Just a quick touch of the tongue before he pulled away, making Raleigh’s knees buckle and Chuck had to act fast to catch him.

It was then that he kissed Chuck. It wasn’t rough. It wasn’t hard like the kiss he had shared with Herc. He hadn’t expected it from Chuck, the gentleness, but he had to admit that it was a nice change. He wanted both of them for different reasons. They both stirred different emotions in him, but he didn’t want them to meld into something similar either.

He was the one to push Chuck on the bed as they kissed, their tastes of mint toothpaste and clear water mingling as they continued to kiss, their hands moving over each other’s bodies as it became too damned clear that they were both severely in need of caresses before they actually slept together.

Chuck’s hands linger almost reverently over the scars and ink alike, but he doesn’t say anything. Just like his father, he sees them, but doesn’t remark on them and he had to wonder if the Hansens already know, or if they simply understand the value of keeping secrets more than anyone else he has met.

It was gradual, almost with no words spoken as they undressed each other until they were naked and their cocks were hard and rubbing against each other. Chuck’s face was flushed and his eyes open in wonder as Raleigh dragged his length against Chuck’s own hard one, making him moan and gasp at friction. His hips jerked as he sought more of the friction, his cock over sensitive at the touch of Raleigh’s own.

“Wait. Wait.” Raligh whispered before he reached over to his rucksack and pulled out a half-used bottle of lube. “Let’s do this properly.”

Chuck was about to grab the lube, but Raleigh shook his head.

“I want to ride you.”

Chuck didn’t need to be told twice and only watched in silence, his heavy-lidded eyes taking in the sight of Raleigh stretching himself before he straddled Chuck’s hips and slid down Chuck’s cock, his head thrown back as he sank down the length of it.

Chuck’s face was surprised, his mouth wide open and his eyes rolling in the back of his head at the feel of Raleigh surrounding his cock. He swallowed hard and looked at Raleigh, taking the sight of him in before he put his hands on Raleigh’s hips and got him to move. Raleigh complied, putting his hands on Chuck’s shoulders to steady himself as he undulated his hips to set a leisurely pace and feel Chuck’s cock go deep inside him and make him see stars whenever his prostate was nudged.

They fucked like that, leisurely until Chuck started to speed up and his grip got tighter around Raleigh’s hips. He complied, moving faster and faster until the sweat was running down his chest and back. He could taste the saltiness of it on his lips as he licks them. He’s panting. So is Chuck and it is without warning that it pools in his lower belly. He’s going to come.

He speeds up, his grip on Chuck’s shoulders tight as he fucks himself on Chuck’s dick. He can feel Chuck’s nails digging into his hips, and how bright Chuck’s eyes look before he gets filled with wet heat. He registers it with a quiet “Oh” of surprise before it’s like a switch flipped in him and he spills all over his chest and Chuck’s belly and then collapses onto him in a sticky, sweaty mess.

_+1_

He woke up late and crawled out of bed, his only desire was to get a cup of coffee and a cigarette before he started the day. He poured a cup and grabbed one from the pack on the side table before walking out on the porch. The air was thick and salty with the breeze from the ocean and the sun was out and too bright for him, it seemed.

He took a sip of his coffee before sticking the cigarette in his mouth and lighting up. He had promised Chuck and Herc he’d quit again, but it was still something he wasn’t quite ready to give up again. And nothing was as good as a cigarette and coffee to start the day.

He takes a deep drag and stands by the rail and takes the sight of a somewhat pristine beach in. He never gets tired of the sight and more often than not, loses himself to it for hours at a time.

He got snapped out of it when cloth hit his back and he turned around to see a smirking Chuck walking towards him, a cup of tea in his hand as he walked closer to him.

“You know those will kill you.” Chuck commented, the smirk still in place as Raleigh pulled on the shirt to cover the last symbol of his old affiliation.

“So will life.” Raleigh replied, sucking even harder on the cigarette and exhaling a cloud just to piss Chuck off. Chuck pinched him in retaliation and it wasn’t until Raleigh threatened to do the same to him that Chuck backed away.

“Where’s Herc?”

“Work. Said he’d be back in the evening. He said he wants some Kangaroo steaks, have a bbq, beers and shoot the shite as your people say.”

Raleigh laughed and shook his head. “Seriously?”

Chuck took a sip of his tea and nodded.

“Yeah. He just left the message a few hours ago. I was just waiting for you to get up so we can go buy them.”

Raleigh nodded. “Allright. Let me finish and get cleaned up.”

“If you think it’ll help, yeah. Go ahead.”

This time, he didn’t even resist the impulse.

Even if it meant a soaked shirt, a pissed off Chuck, a delay in the shower and trading blowjobs before going out.

END.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Chuck, Herc and Raleigh-They are all in a relationship, but Herc and Chuck do not sleep together. They share Raleigh and have built a unit with him. But there's no incest. They just both really like Raleigh and are willing to be with him if he wants that.   
> Mako-Probably will be stoned for this one, but I honestly never saw her as a partner for Raleigh. You can love someone very much and not jump into bed with them. Mako and Raleigh have great chemistry, but they are too close to get into that aspect of a relationship. He supports her and cheers her on and she draws him out of his shell, but romance...I feel it wouldn't work in the long run.   
> Jax/Raleigh-The names are changed in different areas to show how the character sees himself at that moment in time. Sometimes, he doesn't have a name, but that's because he feels his identity is gone. 
> 
> Sorry for the long notes.


End file.
